Do I seem pretentious using what looks like a post-modern art design image?
Report for 3/6/08 posted on 3/7/08 -
I was surprised by a burst of energy I had waking up from the day prior. I was able to not play video games deep into the night and so was not nearly as tempted to sleep in all day. From the night prior I knew today should be the day i was going to make my dreaded "calls" to various people in the psychiatric and counseling field. However my experience in the past told me that I'd be annoyed, and overwhelmed with the amount of people to call.
Indeed today it was no different. Navigating the sea of potential doctors, nurses and licensed medical professionals, dodging the riptide of whether they are covered by insurance, crashing over the breakers of their schedule versus mine, charting a course with the earliest they could see me, and braving the elements from who is best able to help me, is just as difficult as it is to imagine manning a sailboat alone through dangerous waters. Truly to do this on your own seems to need a team of dedicated, payed helpers. Yet somehow insurance companies hope to have you do it yourself, or just rough out what ever emotional, mental, or physical problems that are retching your heart even before you pick up a phone. The way people talk to you at certain offices too, like a number, a statistic, a customer they don't need, makes the whole process tarnished, lame, and more depressing that someone who is in need of help should have to go through to get said help. Co-pays, location, clinical focus, networking, and all the other rigmarole I went through seems to have gone by in a flash. Somewhere on a calendar I made, I have some appointments, some I don't know where they are, some are tentative, some I have no phone number for anymore, some I don't know if I can still make, and even some were not sure still if I'd be covered.
By the time you have the wherewithal to make these appointments, calls, and networks, you are probably in a good enough place you may not need the help. Though I say that in jest, I think it is a sick way of doing things, and I pray for those should trying to get help who can't because of the decathlon of events you must endure to actually just speak to a living, breathing, caring, individual. May God have mercy on those in charge of these companies, because if I was in a position of power over these psych health manufacturing mills, pill popping palaces, and obscure corners of well being, heads would roll. I mean that literally, figuratively, and as a pun.
Aside from the three-ring circus, I managed to relax on my day off. I organized my schedule some more, did laundry, straightened up my room, and prepared for my weekly session of Dungeons and Dragons in Salem. That will be disclosed in its own separates entry because my weekly session is so in depth, I can not deal with it in the same way I'd deal with my normal entries. So aside from that it seemed to be a productive, day and I even remembered to pick up Justin in Manchester to take him to Salem after his eye surgery. Things are looking up I guess, if I can actually have a productive day off. Maybe I am stepping in the right direction.
Body - 5: Days that I don't have a lot of physical activity, and I stay inside and smoke a lot are never ones I can reasonably say were ones helthy for my body. However given my predisposition to being a sloth at times like these, and yet I actually did things kinda balances it out. I managed to even get out of bed not to mention I ate a bowl of cheerios, which automatically gives me a point.
Emotion - 8: I kept my cool in the face of more red tape than Congress, and even had a heart to heart venting session with Justin on our ride to Salem. Great emotional honesty, and control, however I did not really do all that much and had a tendency to withdraw when frustrated stopped me from a better score.
Mind - 10: Organization, drive, and will power, all of these are my Achilles heel. I managed to show a proficiency with all these skills I am more accustomed to saying are atrophied ideals for myself. I even thought of just going to sleep rather than staying up later to write this blog.
Overall - 7.6
Well with that many metaphors with sailing and phone calls, you all deserve this... this ship is p0wned, found it in the NY Times
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